YOU GUYS. It’s been an honest-to-god month since I last wrote here, and then some. During that month, it has come to my attention that I am just way too fuckin’ busy. Not that I mind most of it — the social and freelance and cooking and drinking busy-ness is all good, but this work-related stuff has to curtail.

And, thus, I am taking a moment to enumerate for you, my Friends Of The Internet, fifteen things that I have done for the first time in the month since we last spoke. In addition, since we are on the internet and it is one of, y’know, the world’s great communication tools, let us communicate: give me a shout in the comments with something new you’ve done. I like conversation.

Forthwith, what I’ve done in the last 40 days that I never did before:
(All photos courtesy Jenni, of course)

1. Dined at the restaurant of a Top Chef Master. Specifically, Hubert Keller’s Fleur de Lys Las Vegas. Best meal I’ve ever had, or damn close to it.

2. Danced to a Stevie Ray Vaughn cover while drinking from a yard glass and eating Fatburger, at the Las Vegas Hawaiian Marketplace.

3. Saw Las Vegas’s (mostly) finest (mostly) naked dancin’ ladies, in the company of Jenni, Dan and Kate.

4. Purchased a very large, very flat television on which to watch sports. Kind of fell in more love with it than one really should with a damn television. I feel like doing so earns me more America Points, though, so that’s for the best.

5. Also kind of fell in love with a television show about high school choir nerds. As a former high school band nerd, I should be more troubled by that.

6. Became a columnist for an English-language expat magazine based in Chile.

7. Met a whole bunch of local foodies at a highly spectacular Indian street food tasting dinner.

8. Stood on a cherry picker … in St. Paul. (All previous cherry picker standing activities have taken place in Minneapolis.)

9. Also in St. Paul, stood behind a barstool for an entire soccer game. (This, I had not done in any city.) Thanks to USA Soccer’s brilliant series of missteps in securing the rights to the World Cup qualifier in Honduras, our only option to see the game was at the very full, very warm and very accommodating Sweetwater Tavern; it was awesome. Though he’s in California rather than Minnesota, Footsmoke described the experience pretty much perfectly.

10. Visited the exceptional city of Albany, New York, which was much cooler than I expected it to be. Particularly in the area around Evans Ale, makers of some damn fine beer indeed.

11. Made an honest-to-goodness presentation for work — PowerPoint, suit, ‘anyone have questions,’ the works. I shouldn’t be this proud of myself for doing it, but I am. And I get to do it again in a week and a half.

12. Introduced Colleen to her first ever Jucy Lucy. Which I am now craving right this very second, just from writing about it.

13. Became a certified booze nerd, thanks to the BarSmarts Wired program. Jenni and I did more studying for this than for anything since (or possibly including) college, and are now experts on the history, science and practice of cocktail-making and distilled spirits. I cannot fucking wait for my certificate, you guys.

14. Also became a certified smartphone nerd. Holy shit, the Cliq rules. I am now that douche who misses my turn in line because I’m checking my Facebook or whatever. I promise to use this power only for good.

15. Cheered for Brett Favre. I still don’t feel good about that.

SO. That’s where I was. How ’bout you?